Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
