i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
