On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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