but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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