3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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