Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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