Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
