So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
