You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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