Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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