Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again

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(518): View more from New York

im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.

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(513): View more from Ohio

My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going

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(415): View more from California

sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...

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(224): View more from Illinois

I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure

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(305): View more from Florida

Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.

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(805): View more from California

How are they?

(310): View more from California

Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!

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