so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
