he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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