she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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