and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
