she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
