Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize