batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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