there's paper in my vomit.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
