would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
