apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
