all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
