Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
time to smoke my breakfast
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
