How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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