why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I love you.
Bad choice
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