I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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