Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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