Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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