my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
