you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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