We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She's the barista slut.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
