singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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