he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
