i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
