He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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