No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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