keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
