What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
