Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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