some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
