your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
