last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
