do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
