I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
