yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
