I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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