and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
