In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
