I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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