At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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