so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
