Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
