if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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