i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My liver just broke up with me...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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