i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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