Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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