my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
