I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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