did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
