Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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