I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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