One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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