He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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