you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
