dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
