Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
