i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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