How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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