Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sober January is a disaster.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
