I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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