I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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