No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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