even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
