I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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