he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
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