And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
