woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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